Today marks something of a milestone for Rich...in one of my past blogs, I mentioned that students are challenged to complete 90 meetings in 90 days after graduating the program at CLM. Today is the 90th day post rehab & I'm happy (o.k...happy isn't a good enough word...maybe ecstatic could come closer to the actual emotion) to report that not only has Rich successfully made the 90 in 90, but he has stayed strong in his recovery and is continuing to "work his program." There have been times during the past 3 months when Rich was not able to attend a meeting because our schedule as a family conflicted with meeting times, so my little over-achiever has been doubling up on meetings over the past couple of weeks to make up for meetings missed.
I asked Rich what one of the most effective tools (for him) has been in his daily quest to stay sober, & he said, "Play it out." He described it as a way to control urges by thinking beyond the drink. For example: Rich has a drink. For many alcoholics, that is the one and only thing they think about. But to think beyond the drink...he begins hiding his relapse, I am disappointed, our family is broken, our finances get out of control again....and on it goes. The aftermath of what it would mean for him to begin drinking again helps motivate his sobriety.
Congratulations Rich, for taking your life back from alcohol. I admire your strength & determination. xoxo
Friday, July 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Unexpected Paths
Hi all! So, some unexpected things have been happening to Rich since rehab that I thought I'd share. He was (& still is to an extent) a bit nervous to reconnect with some of his friends "on the outside" for several reasons: fears of how they will react, how he can maintain relationships without alcohol (because, let's face it, many social gatherings involve alcohol), & just the general anxiety of wondering what others are thinking about him/us/drinking/the lack there of...
A couple of weeks ago, Rich was talking to a friend that he had not spoken with for several months (this friend knew nothing of Rich's addiction or his entering rehab)& to Rich's surprise, not only was his buddy very supportive, but he also admitted to Rich that he himself is currently struggling with a drug addiction. Rich is, as I type, with his friend at an NA meeting to be supportive & encourage him to get clean. I have concerns that helping his friend may be too much emotionally for Rich considering he is in the newbie stage of recovery himself. But no matter what, I'm so proud of my husband for not only continuing to be diligent about his own recovery plan, but he has also found a new role in educating others as well as helping friends who are also battling addictions.
I'm amazed how something so seemingly personal as addiction is actually a community issue, & there are many folks out there struggling...and looking for someone to be their "mentor" through the process. And a new chapter begins...
A couple of weeks ago, Rich was talking to a friend that he had not spoken with for several months (this friend knew nothing of Rich's addiction or his entering rehab)& to Rich's surprise, not only was his buddy very supportive, but he also admitted to Rich that he himself is currently struggling with a drug addiction. Rich is, as I type, with his friend at an NA meeting to be supportive & encourage him to get clean. I have concerns that helping his friend may be too much emotionally for Rich considering he is in the newbie stage of recovery himself. But no matter what, I'm so proud of my husband for not only continuing to be diligent about his own recovery plan, but he has also found a new role in educating others as well as helping friends who are also battling addictions.
I'm amazed how something so seemingly personal as addiction is actually a community issue, & there are many folks out there struggling...and looking for someone to be their "mentor" through the process. And a new chapter begins...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Morning Lovin'
Lately Rich has been so good to get up & give Gage his 5-6am bottle. I'm not exactly what you would call a morning person, so Rich often brings Gage in to our room & puts him in bed with me before he heads off to work. This morning Gage & I fell back asleep after some cuddling & Rich snuck in for the sweetest photo op ever.
(Ah, the joy of being a lazy hairstylist who doesn't go in to work until 10am!)
(Ah, the joy of being a lazy hairstylist who doesn't go in to work until 10am!)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
6 Weeks Out
Rich has been home now for 6 weeks & we have been going full speed into summer. We've visited our friends Tobi & Corey in Chattanooga (2 times!), my sweet nephew Samuel had his 1st birthday party in Evansville, & Rich's sister Michele celebrated her 40th birthday with us last weekend....2009 has been so full & it's only the end of May!
Rich is trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days. He's done well so far...I think he's only missed maybe 3 days! These past 6 weeks have stretched & strengthened our marriage in more ways than I could have imagined. Although difficult at times, Rich & I have done a lot of communicating about our feelings. We understand each other so much better when we communicate! :-) Funny how that works, huh?
I'm still going to keep this blog going. Since Rich has finished rehab, I will probably talk about that stuff less...although recovery is a life long process so I will discuss how it's continuing to impact our family. But now, I think "the road less traveled" will be about "our family's journey through LIFE." Check back often & enjoy following the adventures of the Becker family!
Rich is trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days. He's done well so far...I think he's only missed maybe 3 days! These past 6 weeks have stretched & strengthened our marriage in more ways than I could have imagined. Although difficult at times, Rich & I have done a lot of communicating about our feelings. We understand each other so much better when we communicate! :-) Funny how that works, huh?
I'm still going to keep this blog going. Since Rich has finished rehab, I will probably talk about that stuff less...although recovery is a life long process so I will discuss how it's continuing to impact our family. But now, I think "the road less traveled" will be about "our family's journey through LIFE." Check back often & enjoy following the adventures of the Becker family!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Appendicitis, Easter, & Graduation!
O.K...I know. It's been a LONG time since my last entry. April was the craziest month ever! I had my appendix out on 4/10 after a long night in the E.R. Here is a picture from my boredom inspired pre-surgery E.R. photo shoot. :-)
My sweet mom drove all the way from Indiana to be with me & help take care of Gage. I really wanted to go visit Rich because not only was it Easter weekend, but he was also getting baptized in the Hiawassee River on Sunday afternoon. So, a little over 24 hours after surgery, we were off to Murphy!
On Easter afternoon, 4 students at CLM were baptized by Denny in the (quite cold!) Hiawassee River.
On Friday, April 17th, Rich graduated from his 11 week program at CLM. Everyone gathered around the Ebenezer Heap & this is Rich's rock he added to the pile...
My sweet mom drove all the way from Indiana to be with me & help take care of Gage. I really wanted to go visit Rich because not only was it Easter weekend, but he was also getting baptized in the Hiawassee River on Sunday afternoon. So, a little over 24 hours after surgery, we were off to Murphy!
On Easter afternoon, 4 students at CLM were baptized by Denny in the (quite cold!) Hiawassee River.
On Friday, April 17th, Rich graduated from his 11 week program at CLM. Everyone gathered around the Ebenezer Heap & this is Rich's rock he added to the pile...
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Time
I need more hours in the day. This is my living room floor...I sit in the middle & surround myself with all my bills, tax stuff, coupons, cards, etc. Land mines of paper...and on the outskirt of that ring o' paper are 2 play mats, a swing, & an exersaucer to keep my son occupied while I figure out life. There probably won't ever be enough hours in the day to figure out life though, huh? I wanted to spend more time on this blog, more time chronicling my son's development, more time tidying our little home. Yet with all that I've wanted to do with these hours I don't have, I really find I'm doing a decent job "holding down the fort." My house may look like a tornado hit, but I'm finally getting a hold of our finances & paying the bills on time. I know I've been bad about logging in the email & phone time I planned, but I've spent some awesome time playing, singing, & bonding with Gage. Through intense personal struggles I'm learning what is really important...(But who am I kidding? I've always hated cleaning! Now I just have a good excuse not to!)
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Gardening Offers Recovery
The following is an article written in the Cherokee Scout paper last week featuring the greenhouse at CLM as well as some of the volunteers & students. Rich was one of the students working that day so he got his picture taken as well as a small quote. Sorry I had to cut & paste this entire article...I can't figure out how to post a link to another website! :-)
Gardening Offers Recovery
Christian Love Ministries greenhouse helps addicts overcome their addictions
By LIZZ HAROLD
lharold@cherokeescout.com
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:05 PM CDT
From the time a seedling sprouts into a leafy stalk, its life is fragile and dependent on a gardener to keep it safe and healthy.
Thousands of plants at Christian Love Ministries greenhouse are in the hands of those who understand the struggle of life better than most. The gardeners are recovering addicts.
The greenhouse, a ministry endeavor, grows natural vegetables, fruit and flowers to sell at reduced prices to the public. Volunteers make up most of the gardening staff, including students of the ministry. The students are in the church’s substance abuse rehabilitation program, learning a new way of life without the crutch of drugs and alcohol. Some people have been sober for years, while others only have been clean for weeks.
Geoff Grubb, greenhouse manager, oversees the project and relates to the students on a personal level. He was one of the first to join the rehab program 15 years ago.
“I was a cocaine addict when I moved here with my family from Florida,” he said. “We were homeless before Christian Love.”
Grubb explained his past as he worked with his son, Josh, and brother, Doug, both volunteers working in the greenhouse. He said the project is a family effort and run completely by volunteers from the community.
Emilie Jones designed the logo for The Greenhouse and often takes her two children, Liam, 2, and Gates, 3, to work in the dirt. They help transplant seeds into packs and keep mom busy during the mornings she helps at the garden.
“We saw a need and an opportunity to support the community with this,” she said. “This is also a safe environment for my babies, and they get hands-on work in the garden.”
Jones has met with several artists to come up with the logo and extended her search for volunteers to Facebook, an online networking site. She works, side by side, with those struggling with addiction and said the greenhouse provides a form of therapy for them.
“It’s rehabilitating for the students to sell food to support the ministry and in turn, themselves. It allows them to dedicate time to something that they can produce. It’s selfless,” she said.
Bob Maddox, another volunteer, works with the students everyday, teaching them gardening techniques. Richard Becker, a student who has been in the program for nine weeks, said he had little gardening experience before entering rehab but he’s open to the project.
“I want to learn everything I can,” he said.
Joe White, sober for more than two months, said he has been in rehab four times in the past. Moving from Chicago to Murphy less than a month ago, he’s pursuing his faith through the ministry.
“I’m finding the greenhouse to be fulfilling, relaxing,” he said. “The key is to use the Bible as a step-by-step instructional manual ... to have serenity.”
“We supply ourselves with this food. The more we grow for us, the less we have to ask for donations,” said Joey Aldridge, discussing the responsibility of residents. “Every little bit helps us.”
Cabbages, lettuce, cauliflower and heirloom tomatoes have been transplanted into packs, and are ready to be sold.
The greenhouse opened for business on March 15. Open-pollinated plants and flowers also will be available. By summer, the plot adjacent to the greenhouse should be flourishing with seasonal vegetables.
About 1,500 addicts have found a safe and healthy lifestyle through the Christian Love Ministries’ program.
The greenhouse brings a new outlook on life to those in recovery, turning simple gardening skills into lessons of value.
Grubb and his friends are working towards providing cheap, natural food for the community. Volunteers always are welcome to partake in the on-going project and donations are appreciated. To find out how to become involved with the greenhouse, call Jones at 494-2449.
Photos by SCOTT WALLACE/Cherokee Scout
Liam Jones, 2, and his 3-year-old sister, Gates, help their mother, Emilie, plant seedlings at Christian Love Ministries geenhouse on River Road in Peachtree on Feb. 6.
Josh Grubb; his brother, Geoff Grubb; and Jeff’s son, Doug Grubb, (from left) work side by side in the Christian Love Ministries greenhouse. All three have availed themselves of Christian Love’s programs and now volunteer their time.
Joey Aldridge and Richard Becker (from left), both students at Christian Love Ministries, work and learn in the organization’s greenhouse. The skills and experience they are gaining will help secure employment when they have finished their studies at Christian Love.
Gardening Offers Recovery
Christian Love Ministries greenhouse helps addicts overcome their addictions
By LIZZ HAROLD
lharold@cherokeescout.com
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:05 PM CDT
From the time a seedling sprouts into a leafy stalk, its life is fragile and dependent on a gardener to keep it safe and healthy.
Thousands of plants at Christian Love Ministries greenhouse are in the hands of those who understand the struggle of life better than most. The gardeners are recovering addicts.
The greenhouse, a ministry endeavor, grows natural vegetables, fruit and flowers to sell at reduced prices to the public. Volunteers make up most of the gardening staff, including students of the ministry. The students are in the church’s substance abuse rehabilitation program, learning a new way of life without the crutch of drugs and alcohol. Some people have been sober for years, while others only have been clean for weeks.
Geoff Grubb, greenhouse manager, oversees the project and relates to the students on a personal level. He was one of the first to join the rehab program 15 years ago.
“I was a cocaine addict when I moved here with my family from Florida,” he said. “We were homeless before Christian Love.”
Grubb explained his past as he worked with his son, Josh, and brother, Doug, both volunteers working in the greenhouse. He said the project is a family effort and run completely by volunteers from the community.
Emilie Jones designed the logo for The Greenhouse and often takes her two children, Liam, 2, and Gates, 3, to work in the dirt. They help transplant seeds into packs and keep mom busy during the mornings she helps at the garden.
“We saw a need and an opportunity to support the community with this,” she said. “This is also a safe environment for my babies, and they get hands-on work in the garden.”
Jones has met with several artists to come up with the logo and extended her search for volunteers to Facebook, an online networking site. She works, side by side, with those struggling with addiction and said the greenhouse provides a form of therapy for them.
“It’s rehabilitating for the students to sell food to support the ministry and in turn, themselves. It allows them to dedicate time to something that they can produce. It’s selfless,” she said.
Bob Maddox, another volunteer, works with the students everyday, teaching them gardening techniques. Richard Becker, a student who has been in the program for nine weeks, said he had little gardening experience before entering rehab but he’s open to the project.
“I want to learn everything I can,” he said.
Joe White, sober for more than two months, said he has been in rehab four times in the past. Moving from Chicago to Murphy less than a month ago, he’s pursuing his faith through the ministry.
“I’m finding the greenhouse to be fulfilling, relaxing,” he said. “The key is to use the Bible as a step-by-step instructional manual ... to have serenity.”
“We supply ourselves with this food. The more we grow for us, the less we have to ask for donations,” said Joey Aldridge, discussing the responsibility of residents. “Every little bit helps us.”
Cabbages, lettuce, cauliflower and heirloom tomatoes have been transplanted into packs, and are ready to be sold.
The greenhouse opened for business on March 15. Open-pollinated plants and flowers also will be available. By summer, the plot adjacent to the greenhouse should be flourishing with seasonal vegetables.
About 1,500 addicts have found a safe and healthy lifestyle through the Christian Love Ministries’ program.
The greenhouse brings a new outlook on life to those in recovery, turning simple gardening skills into lessons of value.
Grubb and his friends are working towards providing cheap, natural food for the community. Volunteers always are welcome to partake in the on-going project and donations are appreciated. To find out how to become involved with the greenhouse, call Jones at 494-2449.
Photos by SCOTT WALLACE/Cherokee Scout
Liam Jones, 2, and his 3-year-old sister, Gates, help their mother, Emilie, plant seedlings at Christian Love Ministries geenhouse on River Road in Peachtree on Feb. 6.
Josh Grubb; his brother, Geoff Grubb; and Jeff’s son, Doug Grubb, (from left) work side by side in the Christian Love Ministries greenhouse. All three have availed themselves of Christian Love’s programs and now volunteer their time.
Joey Aldridge and Richard Becker (from left), both students at Christian Love Ministries, work and learn in the organization’s greenhouse. The skills and experience they are gaining will help secure employment when they have finished their studies at Christian Love.
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