Friday, March 13, 2009

Feelings

So, I was talking with my mom today, and she suggested that I use this platform as a way to express how I’m feeling…about everything…not having Rich around, trying to keep my house in order, wondering how I‘m going to pay our bills, etc. I’ve fallen into a habit of writing about only about CLM for fear that if I try to express myself at all, I’d sound like the spacey, sleep deprived mom that I am! But I think she is right. My goal with this blog was to share our journey, good and bad. So here it goes…
I have to say I wish I didn't have to experience this role as a "single parent" for these 11 weeks. My house is a wreck. I forget everything (literally everything!). I don’t know what I’m going to wear tomorrow it’s been that long since I’ve done laundry. I have no idea how we are going to survive financially. I cry a lot. I don’t pray enough. And I’m trying to stay sane enough to take care of our beautiful baby boy. But this is life, right?
Tomorrow I’m going to go to my first Al Anon meeting. I’m hoping that participating in these meetings will help me understand and get a grip on the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on. I’ll let you know how it goes…

3 comments:

  1. I love you so very much Shmellbaby....tears.....I wish I was closer to help you out more. You WILL get through this....Have a good time with mom and Grams. And thanks for the sweetest message that I've ever received on my phone :) XOXOXOXOXOXOXO.

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  2. i wish i was closer love.. i'd come do your laundry.;)here is what I know... At some point you will again feel like you have your head above water. You will also have a realization about how strong you really are. I mean -you have done this. What can't you handle really? lol. At the time it doesn't feel like it. I can't even imagine with such a little person. About the anger and frustration... hello human experience of this sitution. No one expects you to be a saint. I am proud of you. I love you. You are doing a good job. really.

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  3. you are awesome...I wish I was there to help more....You are an INCREDIBLE mother - I am beyond proud of you.....

    love xoxoxo

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